September 4th, 2025

You know,

Some days I grief the old. Some days I do. Some days I compare. Some days I don’t love it. I wish this stuff was more normalized. Maybe these feelings aren’t as normal used as others because they are dark. But I think it is darker to hide these feelings, to put on the mask in a masked world just like everyone else.

That’s just it.

Putting on a mask in a masked world. I think the hardest times in my life are the biggest tests. The times that show me who I am at my core. The times that make you feel like a boring and blank canvas. But these seem to be the times we are actually painting. In the moment, so focused on what we need to handle in front of us. It seems the hardships are the times we realize the mask must come off to get through. The most vulnerable times where you see your true weaknesses. We feel strong when life is easy, but how do we feel when we are challenged. Do we honor the good and acknowledge the weaknesses? Do we see the painting being formed or do we choose to become numb to the blank canvas?

When you learn you are always painting you learn to love the picture in front of you no matter what color may be. It is art. Life is quite literally art. We create and we love even when it is hard or doesn’t make sense to anyone. We just paint.