April 23rd, 2025

Why can’t I act like I will live forever?

Why do I have to agree with the world when it tells me when I can and can’t do things?

Am I really only young once?

Grief of my old life is what I have been feeling recently. What does this even mean? Well, those who may be experiencing it right now as well will understand. But I can best describe it as closing your favorite book after reading it for the first time. You will never get that first time back. Or maybe better described as something you did not understand how much you loved until you lost it.

“The old life”

I say this to describe a period I can no longer go back to. I could try and try to get it back if I wanted to, but then I would even fail. Physically it is possible, but mentally I have expanded. Expanded into a new perspective, I feel like I can’t escape perspective.

But I don’t think I’m supposed to be able to.

God is always working and it seems like new perspectives are always reminders of God’s work. I look at my past and I honestly see different chapters. I see where certain chapters ended and I also see why. No chapter is greater or less than another, it is all about perspective.

This life is eternal, I believe it is. I believe so much of the world is designed to be fast and therefore this is why so many people want to live fast and die young. People preach patience but want a fast life. People preach longevity but can’t handle change.

Change truly is a lot to handle, you are grieving the old. But what if this is God telling us we are ready for the next, we have succeeded. What if we didn’t fail, yet we succeeded.

Looking at life like this has allowed me to see life as eternal. Almost like I will live a million lives in one. I will serve one million purposes, my purpose is not the same for life, always growing. My story is never one, it is always growing.

Nothing truly can describe or define us when we live in belief of eternal existence. I am not a failure, I am growing, and I am invested in my growth. I don’t care what I can and can’t do during the current phase of my life. I am invested in the life I am living in right now because it is MINE. This life is apart of me and no one else.

When this chapter closes, and not the chapter’s society defines, I will know. I will look to God and say, time for the next. And it feels like this just keeps repeating and repeating allowing me to keep being reborn without forgetting the lessons of my past.

To keep being reborn and not forget the lessons of the past. What a BEAUTIFUL blessing.

I do want to live forever. And how do you do that? You live like you are eternal, enjoying the life you have right in front of your face! Loving that life and not asking for more or for less.

Not comparing your life to those around you, because we are all creating our own chapters and closing them to discover new ones at our own paces. My chapters close on God’s time. Being able to fully put the past in the past and simply just learning from/ appreciating it, allows me to move forward fresh.

I feel like often times so many people look at life as one. You only get one so don’t fuck up, you only get one chance don’t ruin it. But dude, we are going to screw up in life SO many times. Our mistakes allow us to learn and step into new perspectives and ways. But without accepting them we can’t move forward.

I do wish more people would look at life as long, not short. Stop trying to shove everything into our days like we will die tomorrow. But taking care of ourselves and loving ourselves… forgiving ourselves, so we can truly enjoy the now. The simplicity of the now. The slow flow of life, the longevity.

People want to die young and then live old miserable because yet never thought they would live old. I want to feel young when I feel old. Stepping into nee chapters as a child, over and over again.

That is exactly how I feel right now, I feel reborn. I feel like I died, I am grieving the life I used to live. This is very hard, but the rebirth of this new time I am stepping into feels so fresh. The change allows me to feel young because I am aware during this all I am not familiar with it. I become humble once again and these are the beginnings that bring me closer to God.

This a new beginning from God, just like it was a new death of the old from God.

Just as God created me from the beginning. God created the end of the old.

We really can and do live forever. Is that not so beautiful, doesn’t that make you want to slow down and just embrace where you are RIGHT NOW? It makes me want to. It makes me smile knowing I’m here, in this beginning from God. How special.

I hope everyone sees the beauty in longevity and how patience is its fuel. How can one see it as one and yet want to be patient?

Idk, I want to be eternal and therefore I allow God to guide me. I just sit back and be my best everyday, I just love everyday. I know where I am right now is where I am meant to be. I’m experiencing, growing, dying, and rediscovering. This whole concept makes me just smile. It lights up my mind.

I really would love to live forever, if I keep growing my perspective and I get that far I must be pretty powerful?

God never gives you a battle you can’t handle. And that right there is everything.

We can’t be afraid of what’s next, we need to live in what we have and what we love right now. That will guide us to what is next….